Jip sat crossed legged on his bed; book in hand his mouth moving silently as he worked out each word. The book he was reading was one which Alyona Sedai had lent him, about Cairhien, it was quite interesting though he had not gotten very far. It was early, there were still about twenty minutes before morning exercises, but Jip had awoken a while ago, nightmares again. They came every night now, night had became his least favourite time, this night he had woke up and couldn't get back to sleep, didn't want to; it was better to be tired all the time, he thought, than to be trapped in dreams of blood and burning men.
A knock on the door made him startle, he bit his lip nervously, slowly and warily he stood up and padded barefoot over to the door, he opened it a crack and peered out into the still dark hallway. It was a Gaidin. Jip opened the door fully and bowed, he did not know the Gaidin's name though he recognised him, the stony faced warder handed him a note and left. Frowning in slight confusion Jip looked down at the note in his hands. It was short, and his reading was much better now, he only had to read it once to know what it was saying. Your presence is required, at the south edge of the Training Yard. Please be prompt. There was no name, no signature but it was stamped, stamped with the seal of the Master of Arms.
Jip didn't hesitate, he had been in the Tower for quite a few years, he knew better. So he did not stop to think, he just slipped on his boots and hurried out of his room. The warder halls were just starting to wake up, and he could hear sounds from the rooms. He left the halls and made his way to the Training yard, watching the ground as he walked. He was starting to get worried, had he perhaps done something wrong? He wracked his mind thinking, had the Master of Arms perhaps found out about Sataea and Penumbra? Jip paled slightly and started trembling. No, he reassured himself, it would not be that. What it could be however was beyond him. Probably he was being called to teach a drin'far'ji, that would be alright, he was starting to enjoy teaching, though he felt he was not very good at it, he was hard to understand sometimes, when he spoke so he thought that learning from him must be hard. He tried to reassure himself, but did not stop trembling.
The seal, that was what was making him nervous, it was unusual to say the least. However he was now arriving at the place the note had stated and so he had no more time to worry. Stood there was another Gaidin, again Jip did not know his name, but he was familiar. Scrunching his cuffs of his uniform Jip approached nervously and bowed. The Gaidin seamed to ignore his bow however and said nothing but "Follow me," and set off. Jip followed him, eyes on the ground, heart thumping, it seamed he was in trouble after all. They walked in silence and after a few moments Jip realised that they were heading towards the channelling yard, somewhere Jip had never been. Jip bit his lip harder, this was all very strange; the channelling yard was a very unusual place for a warder in training to go. Another thought, full of fear, came unbidden to his mind. Was this some sort of trick? Was he about to be attacked? His eyes darted about, warily. Calm down Jip, stay calm, he followed the silent Gaidin into the channelling yard.
An Aes Sedai was waiting, Jip bowed to her as well, but it was again ignored. There was a flash of light and what Jip recognised as a gateway sprung up. He didn't even have time to wonder before he felt a hand on his back; he tensed but was pushed roughly through the gap. He spun around as soon as he regained his balance but the gateway had already snapped shut. Panic rose as his eyes wildly glanced around the room, at first it seamed empty, a small room with four bare walls. Jip shivered, it was cold, colder than the Tower, which Jip had thought cold enough. He turned round again, and that's when he noticed a table, a small table pushed against the far wall. As he had been in this room a few moments and nothing awful had happened curiosity was starting to overtake his fear, he moved slowly over.
As he moved he noticed the stillness, he had no idea where he was, but it was very different then the Tower he felt. He came to the table, and his brow furrowed in more confusion. On the table lay his sword, his bow and a couple of throwing daggers. As well as these weapons, the ones he had been training in were his armour and his woollen cloak. Like a light being lit some realisation dawned, could this be it? The mysterious raising test, which trainees whispered about, making up what they believed they would have to do. He frowned again, and shook his head, it couldn't be, there was no way in the light that anyone would believe Jip to be ready. His sad, frightened blue eyes fell once more on the items before him. Then he started moving, putting on the armour first, whatever this was it was clear he was meant to be preparing himself. His hands trembled as he got ready; he even dropped a few things once or twice.
Finally with his armour and cloak on he was slightly warmer. With shaking hands Jip picked up his sword, he had never, and would never, stop hating weapons. He knew their necessity, understood why he had to use them, however he still hated them. Tears pricked at his eyes as he armed himself but he blinked them away, as he usually did. When he was at last ready he waited nervously, trembling, wondering what was about to happen.
He did not have to wait long, a few moments later the wooden door behind him opened, Jip span round his wide eyes fearful, he was ushered forwards and out of the room into a courtyard. All of a sudden Jip realised where he was. It was the Citadel, he had only been here once before, to learn the six portrayals of folding the fan, but the Citadel was once of those places, which once you had seen you never forgot. Outside the room it was even colder but Jip ignored that as much as possible, he was more preoccupied with confusion. The small room he had been in was adjacent to this courtyard, this courtyard that now Jip could see held a small group, most of whom Jip recognised instantly, the Warder council, figures known to the entire yards. The Warder council stood silently by the heavily fortified gates. Stood at the side was an Aes Sedai. Eyes wide Jip bowed and stood eyes downcast waiting.
"Who comes before the Warder Council?" Jip glanced up for a second recognising the Master of Spies, Sigmund Gaidin, before staring at the ground again; he bit his lip again and restrained himself from scrunching the cuffs of his uniform. He knew he had to answer and he opened his mouth twice before whispering. "I...I J...Jip Ji...Ji'alantin of th...the G...G...Grey T...tower c...come before th...the cou...council," it was formal, but it seamed right. There seamed to be a natural script to this very odd ceremony, which Jip half recognised and respected and began to follow. Jip saw the warders nod and after a moment the Master of Arms, Caden Gaidin stepped forwards. Jip stood still, trying to stop himself from trembling. He was certain now that his thought had been correct, this was a final test.
"You have trained in our ranks and have been deemed worthy of a final assignment," rasped the Master of Arms, proving Jip's suspicions correct once and for all. Surprise showed plainly on Jip's features, though with his head lowered he doubted anyone would see it. "Ji'alantin" the Master of Arms continued, "you are called to prove yourself worthy of the fancloak in the wilds of the Blightborder. You have three chances to approach this task. If you choose to step down today, you may come before us twice more. Once you agree to continue your test, however, you may not turn back without immediate failure. Once you accept your test, you must complete the test or you will be put out of the Tower permanently. Do you wish to continue?"
Jip was still for a moment, awed with the gravity of the question. He guessed that this question had been asked of every Ji'alantin who had stood here in this place since the Grey Tower was first built. It had been asked of the man who was now asking it of him. The thought both terrified Jip and calmed him. He could not believe they thought he was ready, knew he could never live up to what the others had done before him, but at the same time he knew his answer, it would be the same as all the men and women before him. Determination shone in his eyes as he nodded and whispered, almost fiercely, "I do."
The courtyard was still, and solemn, after the confusion and urgency of that morning it seamed to Jip as if time had slowed down with his whispering of those two words. There was no noise until Caden Gaidin spoke once more, "You are called to protect this Aes Sedai, symbol of your desired duty," Jip's eyes flicked over to the Aes Sedai for a split second before bringing his eyes back to the ground before him, "return with some token of your struggle; do not return to this fortress until you can bring some proof of your protection before the Council, if you return without such proof, or if you fail in your protection of this Aes Sedai — if she falls under your defence — you will be put out of the Tower permanently." Jip nodded again quickly to show he understood, he was trembling again, shaking with the seriousness of his task.
"Light guide your sword, and may your test be one of enduring strength." With those words time sped up again, there was a flurry of movement and the moment of stillness was broken, Jip felt more than saw reigns pushed into his hands as he was herded out. He heard a thump as the thick oak doors of the Citadel swung shut behind them. Jip glanced sideways at the Aes Sedai he was to protect, and then to his surroundings, the blightborder. He gulped; this was it, his final test.
Jip's eyes flicked about, watching for danger through the cold emotionless eyes of one in the void. It had taken him about five minutes of being in the blightborder before he realised that he would never get anywhere without the void. His feelings had been too strong, fear being the dominant one. The blightborder, somewhere he had never been, where he had only heard about through tales, first the gleeman's stories, exaggerated and mostly false, full of false courage and hero's, and later the horror stories of his fellow trainees, most of who had also never been here. Stories which Jip wished were also exaggerated but which he felt were very close to the truth.
The story that sprung to his mind now however was the one of Hadorn Trolloc killer, a borderland story told to frighten children into paying mind to their lessons. Jip felt like Hadorn himself at the moment, the story told of a coward sent into the blight by his father in order to prove himself, commanded to bring a head of a Trolloc back or not to bother returning. Though Jip had no feelings in the void he hoped his fate would not be the same as Hadorn's, and made a silent promise to himself to be brave, though fear lurked outside the void.
"My name is Malinda Sedai," Jip paused in his constant watch of the surroundings to glance at the Aes Sedai, it was the first she had spoken since they had set off, her voice was soft, not icy like most Aes Sedai's, but like all Aes Sedai Jip could not place any age to her. From her clothing, a Green riding dress, Jip could tell which Ajah she was. This study took only a split second and then Jip nodded politely, "I am Jip," he said quietly, his emotionless voice sounding strange in his ears, he went back to studying the path before them, and the wildness to each side. The Aes Sedai made no answer to his pointless statement, pointless because obviously she already knew his name; it had just seamed the best thing to say. "I am pleased to meet you Malinda Sedai," Jip added in a whisper, not taking his eyes away from their surroundings this time. Still there was no answer and the two rode again in silence.
It all seamed to quiet for Jip, the blightborder, not as rotten as the blight itself Jip had heard, but bad enough, was not as he had imagined. Somehow he had imagined monsters behind every bush ready to attack, but so far he had spotted nothing, not even a crow. He was starting to worry that maybe he was just not being vigilant enough, that something was about to jump out at them. The void kept him calm however. The heat was something else Jip had been told about, but just how humid the blightborder was, he had not been able to imagine, it was a fuggy heat one that he imagined would have made his head spin if he hadn't been in the void. The smell again he had not anticipated, it was a rotten smell, but worse then anything Jip had smelt before. Because of the void however though he was aware of the smell it did not affect him.
They rode the rest of the day in silence, a silence that seamed to suit the blight and the nature of this test, as the day bore on the severity and seriousness of what was happening had started to dawn on Jip. Scary thought indeed and one that made Jip's scanning of the surroundings more anxious. "We will camp here," it was the first Malinda Sedai had spoken to him since telling him her name, Jip nodded and reigned in Cuendillar. He dismounted and moved towards the second horse, to hold the reigns as Malinda Sedai dismounted.
Soon, the horses had been hobbled to the side, he had tied them lightly up but not removed their saddles or reigns, he knew enough to know they may need to move in a hurry and it was best to be prepared. Light was fading, and Jip knew that the blightborder was about to get a thousand times scarier than it already was. He had not tied the horses far away, only a few meters from where Malinda Sedai was, and he did not take his eyes away from her immediate surroundings once. He returned to where she was sat rummaging in her saddle bags. She looked up as he approached and nodded for him to sit down opposite her. Jip did so, his eyes not ceasing there constant watch. "Here," Malinda Sedai spoke again simply; Jip glanced over and saw she was holding something out to him, a small tub of some kind of food. He took it and she picked up a second tub, and started eating. Jip followed suit, the food, mainly oats Jip thought, was tasteless but filling, even as he ate he did not stop his wary watching.
Jip glanced quickly across at the sleeping form of Malinda Sedai as if to check nothing had snuck up without Jip noticing and killed her, before moving his eyes back to the wildness all around. Before Malinda Sedai had fell asleep Jip had circled the area of where they were camped to check for immediate dangers, these were all things he had been learning in his lessons since he had joined the Tower, but only had the chance to put into practice once. The time he went on a journey for the Blue Ajah, luckily the void let no emotions from thoughts of that time touch him, his eyes never stopped moving.
Hours later, in the strange twilight hours of dawn, a rustle, Jip's heart skipped a beat, even in the void. There was no breeze in the blight; Jip stared into the semi darkness. Another rustle, louder, closer this time, "Malinda Sedai," he hissed, which was all he had time for before the figure was upon him. Jip recognised it as once as he drew his sword. Huge and monstrous, he had sat in many a lesson about them, they featured in his nightmares; they even haunted his earliest memory. A Trolloc, the void vanished instantly.
Fear screamed into his mind as he moved his sword acting more out of instinct then anything else. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Malinda Sedai, on her feet dagger in hand. There was no thought in just defending and his mind quickly snapped into gear, making his movements fast, leaping out of range after every attack, making sure not to put Malinda Sedai in any danger. Afterwards the short fight was a blur, he remembered little apart from fear and that the Trolloc lay dead afterwards.
He was trembling, too frightened and shook up even to venture back into the void, but his mind was still working, somehow. They had to get moving, he knew enough from his lessons to know a lone Trolloc was rare. He glanced at Malinda Sedai, gauging if she was alright. She nodded at him, mouth tight, Jip wondered briefly if she was scared too, but that thought was ridiculous, Aes Sedai did not get scared, especially not Green Aes Sedai.
"Th...th...there w...w..w...will be m...mo...more Ma...Malinda S...Sedai," Jip whispered urgently his eyes, wild with fear glancing about. Malinda Sedai nodded and picked up her saddle bags, Jip rushed to get the horses. The two mounted but before they set off Malinda Sedai lent over and passed Jip something. He looked down at the item, it was a badge, or medal of sometime. He recognised it, but only from what he had been taught, a tribe badge of a Trolloc. It felt weird holding it in his hand.
"You need proof remember," Jip nodded at Malinda Sedai's quiet words, he had forgotten, he slipped the badge into his saddle bag and the two set off. They did not get far however, not very far at all when they spotted them, five, no six, Trollocs in the distance, Jip eyes widened in fear but he swung his bow off his back and knocked an arrow. Somehow in all of this he had decided, he may hate using violence against humans, hate himself for killing them, but he held no such feelings when it came to Trollocs, they were creatures of the dark one, the sadness he usually felt when using his weapons had faded somewhat replaced by something, Jip could only vaguely place as disgust, or perhaps anger.
The bow was a weapon Jip was not brilliant at, but he was learning. His only other distant weapons were his throwing daggers, and he was even worse at them, without the void, which he was finding impossible to regain, he was more likely to injure Malinda Sedai, or himself, than the Trollocs. He loosed the arrow however, it hit, but the Trolloc continued towards them. He could not ride and fire at the same time, he was not that advanced, however Cuendillar was trained enough not to startle or move so he could stay amount and fire. Without hesitation Jip knocked and loosed another arrow.
This time one of the Trollocs fell. Jip didn't falter, despite the fear screaming still in his eyes, his hands were trembling so much he was surprised he hit anything. They kept coming, Jip's shooting was becoming faster, and then a flame shot past him, Jip jumped slightly but did not pause in his shooting as three of the Trollocs succumbed to the flames. Another flame, which caught a forth Trolloc, which left one. It was too close and was coming closer. Drawing his sword quickly Jip leapt down from Cuendillar and went forwards despite the terror which threatened to shut down his mind. Again the struggle was a blur, Jip bringing his sword up and down at first, blocking the Trolloc slashes at him.
Another strike, this one aiming for Jip's shoulder, Jip blocked and attacked in quick succession, he had no idea what forms he used, he was too frightened to think. Then pain, he hissed as the Trolloc sword cut his upper arm. Not deep but painful enough. He forced himself to carry on though; he brought his sword up again. A blurred time, and then the Trolloc lay dead. Jip resisted the urge to drop to the ground in pain and exhaustion and hurried back to their horses and Malinda Sedai who had dismounted.
"That seams to be all of them," she was saying, Jip forced himself to concentrate, "A breakaway pack it seams," Jip managed to nod, not really believing her, continuing to scan the area. He followed her over to the dead Trollocs, he stopped at the one he had killed last first and took its badge. It felt wrong, though it was a Trolloc, but he needed proof. He hurried after Malinda Sedai to the other five, his sword still drawn, trembling more than ever, half imagining one to leap up and attack them, but none did. The two of them silently collected the rest of the badges, four of which were half burned.
They returned to the horses, Malinda Sedai was speaking again, something about healing. Jip turned to her puzzled, he was finding it difficult to concentrate though he knew he had to, and was becoming frustrated with himself because of it. Malinda Sedai seamed to take his movement for consent however and her hands came to his head, Jip flinched at the touch but soon Jip felt like he had been plunged into icy water and realised what had happened. Afterwards his head felt clearer, he was able to concentrate, though the fear was still screaming at him, and the pain in his arm had gone. "Th...th...th...thank y...you," he whispered, the Aes Sedai just nodded and the two remounted and set off once more.
The ride back was as silent as the ride there had been, and again it was Malinda Sedai who broke the silence, "It's funny," her voice was still soft and still, it was like none of the past events had happened. Jip broke off his surveillance for a moment to look to her, to show he was listening, he had regained the void and his fear was safely trapped outside. The Aes Sedai continued, her tone like one talking to herself than to him, "some would say that a man who feels fear and especially one who shows it is a coward," despite the void Jip felt shame, he kept his eyes roaming the wildness, not looking at the Aes Sedai. She knew, like everyone else, and Jip himself, he was not brave. He did not know who he was kidding, he should not be here, he would never pass this final test, he was no where brave enough for a warder; he braced himself for the cruel truth to come from this Aes Sedai.
Aes Sedai, however, were always full of surprises. Malinda Sedai continued, "However, others, and personally I agree with them, would argue with those fools who think bravery is having no fear, most who think so have never seen battle," Jip glanced at her again with puzzled eyes, "they would argue, and so would I, that a person can only be truly brave when they are frightened, feeling no fear and fighting, that is one thing, but being terrified and still fighting, that is something else, that is courage," the Aes Sedai fell silent for a moment, "funny how peoples opinions can differ so much." She had not looked at him during speaking, as if she had been speaking to herself. Puzzlement lingered outside the void, could that be true? What the Aes Sedai had said. It was an interesting thought, and as he went back to watching the path the words he used to get himself into the void came to his mind. Words Caden Gaidin had taught him to recite in order to clear his mind. Courage is fear when it has said its prayers it suddenly dawned on him what those words meant, words he had recited since he was a drin'far'ji, the day he had began to learn the sword, words he had never actually thought on beyond them being a means to enter the void. Could it be that everyone felt fear, all the warders who he looked up to, who he believed felt no fear, all the Aes Sedai, a very interesting thought instead. But then they rounded the corner and all the thoughts of courage and fear left his mind.
They had made it, the stalwart shadow of the Citadel rose up against the bleak horizon, the first time Jip had seen the Citadel it had seamed a dark, forbidding place, but now, after their night in the blight it was like a beacon of safety, shining into the darkness. He glanced at Malinda Sedai, who gave him a small smile, the first he had seen from her, he smiled back and urged Cuendillar onwards. His tiredness seamed to fade as he pushed on with the last of his strength, strength that had been largely taken away by the healing. He did not take his eyes off the blightborder around him though; they were close to safety but not there yet. The void allowed no feelings but still he knew without it he would be feeling something close to elation. His test, his final test, was finished.
With immaculate timing as they drew close the gates opened, creaking as they did so. Jip followed Malinda silently into the courtyard. If the courtyard had seamed quiet and still before now it was silent, a haven of peace compared to the blightborder beyond. "Dismount, Ji'alantin," this time Jip did not even register who had spoken but scrambled down from his horse, more falling then anything. As he straightened up he recognised again the Warder Council, "Do you come baring proof of your success?" Almost numbly Jip nodded and, digging his hand into his stable bag he brought out the seven Trolloc badges. The Master of Arms drew back and the badges were taken off him. A servant appeared, seemingly from nowhere and motioned for him to follow. Jip did so silently, Malinda Sedai remained behind, with the Council.
They entered a small room; it was bright, clean and warm, different to the putrid heat of the blightborder. The servant disappeared. Jip let go of the void, he disliked using it more than necessary, and it was not needed here. His emotions rushed into him, still fear, though much less, but also elation, something very rare in Jip.
He noticed, in this room he was stood in, a large bath, sending wisps of steam to the ceiling. Jip took a step towards it, and then remembered, from a lesson long past, back when he was a drin'far'ji, purification rituals. Closing his eyes a moment to remember Jip approached the bath simply silently and reverently. He slowly shed his armour, weaponry and Ji'alantin uniform, hovering over the last, whether he had passed or not it would be the last time he wore it. Quietly Jip started to wash the blight away from his body, wishing that hot water could cleanse it from his mind.
He finished washing and after drying himself he found clothes laid out; a white tunic, a red robe and a black doublet. Trembling Jip slowly got dressed, it felt so, strange, wearing anything but grey. Each piece of clothing had the small sign of the Grey Tower embroidered on them. It gave him a small feeling of relief, that even though he was no longer wearing the uniform of the place he had called home for many years he was wearing its symbol, a sign he still belonged. Reassured Jip waited once again.
It was not for long and soon he was once again led to the courtyard. His heart was thumping so loud he thought the Warder Council would be able to hear it, he was trembling though he tried not to show it, and he restrained himself from scrunching his cuffs, it would not be right here. As he entered the courtyard he saw that there was not only the Warder Council but many Gaidin and Gaidar, some he recognised, some he didn't. They all stood in a wide semi circle, the Master of Arms stood in the centre. Malinda Sedai had disappeared. Being the focus of all those stony faces made Jip tremble even more and he bit his lip nervously before forcibly stopping himself.
"Come forwards," the rasping voice of the Master of Arms, Jip complied, willing his legs not to give in, "kneel." Jip lowered himself to the ground, his eyes fixed on the Master of Arms feet. His trembling had worsened and he clenched his fingers together to try and steady himself, the attempt failed however.
"Do you come before your assembled brothers and sisters with a noble and just heart, wishing to join us as a Gaidin of the Tower?"
This time Jip did not hesitate, he did not need to think, he knew the answer. "I d...do," his voice was not a whisper, it was not loud either but it was spoken.
"Do you promise to uphold the Light in all you do, to live a life of duty, truth, and goodness?"
They had learnt these oaths in classes, learnt the words, learnt what they truly meant. "I d...do," his voice was slightly stronger this time.
"Do you swear to serve and guard the Grey Tower faithfully?"
"I d...do," his voice was stronger still, determination and happiness shone through his eyes as he belatedly realised he had passed his final test.
"And finally, do you vow to devote your life to this cause, to swear yourself to the Light, the Tower, and the pursuit of justice?"
The final vow, Jip took a deep breath and looked up into the Master of Arms eyes, "U...under the Light, a...and by m...my h...hope of sa...salvation, I d...do," this was said in a normal level of voice, louder then Jip usually spoke, the severity of the moment clear in his voice.
Caden Gaidin was handed a sword, Jip's sword he saw, he took it in both hands, and Jip watched, his eyes still raised from the floor, "May the Light bless this blade and its bearer, and may the Light illumine the path of this warrior." He handed the blade to Jip, who took it in trembling hands, for once Jip did not feel sadness when holding his weapon, instead he felt, he was not sure what it was, could not name it. Like he had achieved something good, he did not know the word for the feeling, but it was a good one.
"Rise," Jip did so, his eyes still fixed on the scene before him; he saw Aric Asha'man, the warder-Channeler representative hand the Master of Arms another bundle. Jip recognised this immediately, and it took all his reserve not to let his mouth drop open in awe, the fluid, seemingly weightless fabric, reflected a myriad of colour and shadow. The Master of Arms unfurled the fancloth cloak, a mirror image of what all warders wore, what all the Gaidin and Gaidar in the semicircle wore. "I grant you the title of Gaidin; you are a Brother of Battle, and a warder under the banner of the Grey Tower." Jip's heart felt like it was about to burst. With great gravity Caden Gaidin draped the cloth over Jip's shoulders, an easy task, for Jip only came to just above the Master of Arms elbow, and hooked the clasp at his neck. "Welcome," for a short moment every face in the semi circle of Warders relaxed.
The Warder-Channeler representative stepped forwards, "By the power vested me by the Amyrlin Seat and M'Hael of the Grey Tower, I acknowledge and witness the raising of this Gaidin of the Grey Tower. You are entrusted to protect one Aes Sedai or Asha'man of your choosing to fulfil your destiny." Then it was done. Jip did not know whether to smile or cry. Finally, what he had been training for since he had arrived at the Grey Tower all those years ago, owning nothing but dreams, he had finally became a Warder.