Nykolai's Survival Test
By Nykolai Deoddyn
Nyk responded immediately to the summons. Really, there wasn't a choice to respond quickly or not. A Gaidin had pulled him out of one of his classes and told him to follow. Nyk didn't ask questions, he simply followed the man toward the front gate. Nyk faltered for a moment. Why was this Gaidin trying to take him out of the Tower? Perhaps he was a darkfriend, hoping to kidnap Nyk. The Gaidin didn't even look back to see if he was following. Nyk decided to keep going, for now. He lengthened his stride to catch up to the Warder. When they reached the front gate, a party of Warders was waiting on horseback. One was the Mistress of Training. The Gaidin who had collected Nyk pulled a piece of cloth out of his pocket and quickly wrapped it around Nyk's head, securing it in the back. Nyk felt someone pick him up and put him atop a horse. One hand fumbled for the reins, and his other hand reached up to touch the blindfold. A stern voice spoke beside him. "Leave it on." Nyk dropped his hand, frowning. What was this all about?

The party set off. Riding a horse blindfolded was a very strange feeling, Nyk decided. One that he would prefer not to repeat. Each time the group stopped, strong hands picked Nyk up out of his saddle and set him on the ground. He was spun around many times at every stop, leaving his head spinning for a while. The Warders fed him at meal times, a humbling experience. He decided that this might be his survival test. All Drin' knew that the test to become a Ji'alantin was one of survival, but nothing more. Only the change in temperature from brisk to freezing indicated the time of day. They stopped to rest for a night, but Nyk could hardly sleep. He was so disoriented by the events of the day, and excited at the prospect of getting promoted. After what seemed like an eternity, Nyk drifted off to sleep.

Morning came and Nyk was placed back on his horse. He shivered in the cold of the morning, but a few hours of riding warmed him. The group came to a halt that evening, after the temperatures had dropped again. They spun him around again several times. Nyk didn't think that was really necessary, he was already really disoriented from riding blindly for almost two full days. He heard something drop to the ground beside his foot, but didn't bend to retrieve it. If they insisted on doing everything for him, they could pick it up. The Mistress of Training explained that he had to survive one full week, no more, no less, in the wilderness and make his way back to the Tower. She explained that cheating was not tolerated, and what behaviors would be considered cheating. Finally, she explained that he was to wait until he couldn't hear the retreating Warders before he could remove his blindfold. Nyk nodded at each instruction.

The group left. He could not hear them for very long, since most Warders had developed exceptional silent stalking skills. After all human sounds had faded away, Nyk counted to 100 and then removed his blindfold. The light was blinding at first, after being in the dark for so long. When his eyes adjusted, he took in his surroundings. He was in a clearing in a forest. Looking down, he saw a utility knife beside his boot. So that was what had dropped.

The sun was quickly setting, and Nyk knew his first priority was to find or build a shelter. There was an outcrop of rocks on one edge of the clearing, so Nyk decided that would be a decent location. He cut some larger branches off of some of the surrounding trees. Most of the trees had no leaves left, but some had needles. Nyk opted to use the ones without leaves as a frame for his lean-to, and the branches full of needles would go on the outside to provide some protection from the wind. They had fed him in the mid-afternoon, so eating could wait until morning. There wasn't much light left from the setting sun, so Nyk knew it wouldn't be a good idea to try to do much else after he finished setting up his shelter. Before settling into his shelter for the rest of the night, Nyk gathered up a lot of dead grass, leaves, and pine needles to put on the ground beneath him. He hoped that with the rock and branches keeping out most of the wind, the foliage he had found would insulate him from the cold ground.

The sky was overcast, so he had no light from the stars, and only a hazy glow from the moon. Tomorrow, he would find food, water, and try to build a fire. Nyk fell asleep rather quickly this night, having not had much sleep the night before. He wasn't warm by any means, but he wasn't freezing, either.

Nyk woke as the sun rose and pierced through the branches of his shelter. He blinked a few times against the light, then crawled out of his "bed." His jacket was covered in pine needles, so he took it off and shook it out. Running a hand through his hair to remove the bits of greenery, Nyk strolled around the clearing. He was looking for tracks. It was obvious which way the group of Warders had come from... shod horses left very distinct tracks. He moved into the trees a bit more to find tracks from wildlife. After an hour of searching, Nyk found what he was looking for. It looked like there was a game path about two hundred paces from the clearing. Game paths almost always meant water at one end. After marking the way back to his camp with a pattern of sticks, Nyk started to follow the path. Sure enough, a small stream of water was flowing at the end of the path. Joyfully, Nyk scooped some of the water into his cupped hands and drank. The water was very cold, but he would need to stay hydrated.

Now that he had gotten some water to drink, Nyk started to think about food. His stomach growled insistently as he thought. All he had was the uniform he was wearing and a small knife. Even though he had found a game trail and a source of water, he had no way to set a trap or catch any animal that came by. So he would have to live off the vegetation around him. While it wasn't ideal, it would have to do. Many people had lived without meat for a lot longer than a week! He knew he could survive anything for a week.

After looking around for a little while, Nyk found a number of bushes that still had berries on them. He didn't recognize most of the plants, but he had to eat something! The day was getting a little warmer, so he decided he could do without his jacket for a while. He shivered when he pulled it off, but he knew that he would warm up after a few minutes of being busy. He tied off the neck opening and the waist of his jacket to make a pouch, with just the chest being open. He tied the sleeves together at the wrists and slung the makeshift bag over his head and left shoulder. Nyk proceeded to pick as many berries as he could find and deposited them in the bag. It wasn't even half full when he had gleaned all the berries off of the surrounding plants. It would be enough for now, he decided, but he would need to find more later. Perhaps he would have better findings when he started the journey back to the Grey Tower. It was mid-day by the time Nyk followed his signs and found his way back to his campsite. He snacked on some of the berries as he walked, but limited himself for now to eat only the berries he recognized. He would look at the others more closely when he got back to his shelter.

By eating slowly, Nyk tricked his belly into thinking it had gotten more than it really had. Somewhat satisfied, the Drin' figured it would be a good time now to build a fire. He left his bag of berries in his shelter and then walked around the area surrounding his camp to find dry sticks of different sizes. He laid his pile of wood on the ground and then pulled some of the dry grass out of his bedding. It would have to serve as kindling for the fire. Now to find a fire-starter. Nyk found several different types of rock on the ground, so he brought them all over to his wood. He tried striking the rocks with his knife, but he wasn't successful at creating a spark to light the kindling. Finally, he tried striking different kinds of rocks against each other, and found a combination that worked. The first few sparks fell into the kindling but died. The fifth spark caught a blade of grass on fire, but it also died before catching anything else. His eighth spark caught several of the blades of grass, which then caught several more. Nyk got down and cupped his hands around the tiny flame, breathing softly on it to encourage it to grow. The flame started to burn a little higher, and Nyk added some small twigs to the grass. After a few seconds, the twigs had lit, and Nyk started to add bigger sticks. Within a few minutes, he had a respectable fire. Nyk encircled the fire with the rocks he had collected.

The fire felt wonderful to Nyk's cold limbs. He sat hunched up by the fire for several hours, drawing on its warmth. For the first time since the Warders had dropped him off in the clearing, Nyk started to think about what was actually going on. The Warder Officers finally thought he was ready to be a Ji'alantin! That thought alone made Nyk considerably happier. He had finally proven that he had overcome his youthful rebellion, and that he really did belong. Maybe when he returned as a Ji'alantin, the threat of expulsion would no longer be looming over his head. He had spent many years as a Drin'far'ji, several more than most Trainees. Most of that time had been spent trying to make up for his first few years. He wondered if anyone had ever gotten into as much serious trouble as he had, and yet still manage to become a Ji. But he wasn't a Ji'alantin yet. He still had to pass this test. Nyk didn't doubt his ability to survive or find his way back to the Tower, but he still had to get through it. When he did, he would be named a Brother of Honor.

Honor. That was something Nyk had learned at the Grey Tower. Before leaving his home in Tar Valon, his notions of honor were very different from now. If for no other reason than learning to live honorably, his time in the Warder Yards had been well spent.

Nyk stayed by his fire till the sun had completely set, occasionally eating a handful of berries. Debating in his mind, Nyk tried to decide whether to leave the fire burning while he slept, or to put it out and start anew in the morning. He didn't want to leave its warmth, but figured that it wouldn't be good to burn himself or the forest while he was asleep. With great sadness, Nyk kicked dirt over the fire till the flames died. He picked up the two rocks that had produced the best sparks and crawled back into his shelter. Placing the rocks between his body and the big rock, Nyk curled up to go to sleep.

When he woke up the next morning, frost had covered the ground outside his shelter. He picked up his fire-starting rocks; they were still dry. He could still use the dry leaves and such from his bedding in his shelter as dry kindling, but the frost would make it hard to find dry wood. After searching unsuccessfully for a few minutes, Nyk decided to wait until mid-day to build his fire. The sun would hopefully dry out the ground and maybe some of the wood. For now, Nyk found the game trail again and walked down to the stream. The water was frigid, but it still tasted wonderful. After drinking deeply, Nyk returned to his shelter. He was shivering violently from the cold, since his jacket was still filled with berries. Nyk crawled into his shelter and pulled his knees to his chest, back resting against the large rock. He ate the rest of the berries he had found the day before, but knew they wouldn't sustain him for long.

He decided to stay in his shelter for a few hours until the frost went away. During that time, he thought back on all of the people he had offended or disobeyed in his first few years at the Tower. There were far too many to count or name, but he remembered many of the prominent ones. He wondered whether Caden Ives still regretted not killing him for dishonoring Leanna Sedai, then the Amyrlin Seat. That had been a bad day, and Caden Gaidin had made it much worse. Nyk had had to crawl down nearly all the stairs from the Amyrlin's office with several broken ribs, among other injuries. But he had met Janis in the infirmary because of that, and Jan had become one of his closest friends. They had fought the Ripples of Shadow together... Nyk's first battle. He shuddered at the memory of the Trolloc trying to kill him. It was only dumb luck, not skill, that his sword had reached the Trolloc before the Trolloc's blade reached Nyk. He had returned from that battle with a sense of purpose, but he also felt he had grown up a lot in those few hours. If it hadn't been for the Ripples of Shadow, Nyk probably would have been expelled, and rightfully so. He had done nothing to deserve his place as a Warder Trainee, but because he had fought and found his purpose against the Dark, Caden had mercy on him and allowed him to stay. Nyk thought at the time that it was unfair that he had to make retribution and start all over again. Now, he recognized that it had been entirely his fault, and no one else's. The only way that it was unfair was that he was given a second chance, when so many others were not.

The sun was well above the trees when the frost started to dissipate, but despite the light, the sun brought little warmth. With all his food gone, Nyk untied his jacket and put it back on for the time being. He would go in search of dry wood and some food to hold him for the rest of the day. A few hours of searching rewarded Nyk with berries and nuts, and a handful of small dry sticks. He used his jacket again to carry his findings, although he was reluctant to take it off. Immediately after returning to camp, Nyk set about the task of building a fire. It didn't take long till he had a small flame burning, using the dry kindling and sticks. He piled some damp wood around the fire so it would dry out, hopefully before the dry stuff had run out. He built the fire closer to his shelter this time. He knew it was dangerous to build a fire that close, but he was really cold, and wanted to be by the fire but out of the wind. He occasionally dozed with his shoulder and head resting on the big rock, but the sleep was intermittent.

As the evening started to fade into night, Nyk ate some of the nuts and berries. The nuts were tough, but it was a nice addition to the berries. The berries he ate were slightly bitter, but that was all he had. He had survived for two full days in the wilderness now! Two more days and he would start the journey back home. The sun had almost completely set, but Nyk wanted to keep the fire burning. He added the sticks that had been drying around the fire, and they reluctantly caught. He had added some branches from the berry bush he had found. The branches themselves had looked really dead on the outside, despite the few leaves that clung to them. They smelled really nice when they burned, he found.

After eating and sitting by the fire for a few more minutes, Nyk saw something move in the corner of his eye. He turned to look to his left, but nothing was there. He decided that it must have just been a trick of his imagination. He heard a noise and saw something on his right side. Whipping around, there was still nothing there. Nyk thought about dousing the fire, but then he wouldn't be able to see anything, and if someone or something already knew where he was, it wouldn't matter. Nyk continued scanning the area for a few more minutes, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. It must be the cold, he determined.

Out of the forest directly in front of him stepped a Novice. Nyk's eyes widened and he stood up out of his shelter. It couldn't be! She was dead! They had executed her! Nyk had seen the decree, and had even watched her die. What on earth could the Darkfriend be doing here?! She gave him a knowing smile, that irritating smile she used... Nyk hated her.

"Why, Nykolai, you look surprised to see me. Didn't you know that I would come back for you. We weren't through when those Light blinded fools found us." She winked. Nyk shook his head. She couldn't be here!
The Novice giggled. Nyk's breathing was rapid and shallow. He was in the wilderness... no one would hear him. No one would even come looking for him for at least a week. And then only if they didn't assume he had just quit! There was nothing he could do but run. Nyk stumbled away from the fire, willing his feet to move faster. He looked back to see if the girl was chasing after him, but he tripped over a tree root. His head hit the hard ground and the world went black.

Nyk regained consciousness slowly. He turned his head slowly to see if anyone was around. To his right, the Novice knelt on the ground, watching him from a safe distance. Nyk growled at the girl as he pushed himself off of the ground. She stood up at the same time.

“What are you doing here? Why you? Why me? Why can't you leave me alone?!” he spat at her.

The girl smiled viciously back at him. “Like I said before, Pet, I wasn't finished with you. And why can't I leave you alone? It's in your blood. Knocking yourself out won't save you.” she responded cryptically.

Nyk frowned. Why couldn't girls just say what they meant? “Go away. I won't let you hurt me this time.”

Again, she giggled. “I told you, it is in your blood. I won't go away, and I have lots of plans to hurt you.”

Stumbling his way to his shelter, Nyk fumbled around in the dark to find his knife. “In my blood?! Fine!” He strode toward her brandishing the knife. However, instead of trying to attack her with it, he pulled up both of his shirtsleeves. With deliberate motions, he cut deep into his forearms. The gashes weren't close enough to his wrists to be immediately life-threatening, but blood began to pour out of the self-inflicted wounds. “Happy now?! Now leave…” Nyk started to sway. “Me…” Pain coursed through his body, and he dropped to his knees. “Alone.” Again the world faded to black as his body fell the rest of the way to the ground.

Light and sound came back slowly to Nyk's mind. He opened his eyes slowly, confused about where he was and why he was on the ground. Why did his arms burn so much? What had happened? A glance up at the sun indicated that it was early afternoon. He couldn't remember what had happened the previous night, or why he would have gone to sleep outside his shelter.

He tried pushing himself up, but intense flashes of pain seized him when he moved his arms. He rolled over and sat up to look at his arms. There was a deep cut on each arm about half-way between his hand and elbow. The cuts were black from crusted blood, and blood had dried all down both arms. The ground was also blood-soaked. Nyk's breathing quickened. What had happened to him? He could only remember brief glimpses. There was a girl, but he couldn't remember who she was. He suddenly remembered to sharp moment of pain from cutting himself. But why would he have done something so crazy? He could have killed himself!

Before he could take care of his wounds, Nyk suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He spent the next couple hours heaving, even after he had nothing left in his stomach to come up. His head felt like it would split in two, but he couldn't do anything about it.

For now, Nyk found his knife and cut part of his sleeve off the rest of his shirt. He clamped down on one end of the cut sleeve with his teeth and used all the strength he could muster to rip it into two long cloths. Tying it would prove to be tricky. With one hand, he wrapped the makeshift bandage around his arm, on top of the cut. He grabbed one end of the cloth with his teeth and used his free hand to loop the knot and pull it tight. Pain seared through his arm as he tightened the knot, and tears came to his eyes. He repeated the process on his other arm, grimacing against the pain.

It must have been the berries he had eaten, he decided. He had grown less cautious about the berries after trying several types his first day. It was a mistake he would never make again. His stomach had settled down again, so Nyk found the last handful of nuts and slowly ate them, tossing the rest of the berries into the woods. He knew that it was critical to get water after being so sick. All he really wanted to do was lay back down and sleep, but he tried to overcome that urge.

The trek to the stream took him almost a full hour this time. When he got there, he cleaned off his arms but left the bandages on. He put his head in the stream and drank from the freezing water. The splitting pain in his head faded to just a pounding headache as he continued to drink. He felt really weak as he stumbled back to his shelter. The sun would start setting soon, and he couldn't stay at his shelter any longer. He had initially planned to leave the next morning to start hiking back to the Tower. However, as weak as he felt, it would take him longer to get there. Also, the blood all over the ground and clothes would attract predators. If he kept moving, they would still be attracted to him because of the blood, but it wouldn't be as bad as staying at his camp.

Nyk kicked down his makeshift shelter and scraped dirt over the remnants from his fire. If he'd had more time and strength, he would have made it look like no-one had been there. As it was, he just wanted to leave before dark. He undid his jacket from being a pouch so he could put it back on. It was hard to force his arms down the sleeves, but he managed. His grip was weak at best. He found the tracks from the party of Warders that had left him and began to follow. Even where the ground was hard or rocky, there were still indicators of a group of horses passing through.

The travel was slow, and Nyk had to stop every few minutes to lean against a tree and rest. His arms were throbbing, and he still wondered what would have possessed him to do it. Maybe the Warders wouldn't want him when he got back. Maybe they wouldn't want someone so… weak. If only he could remember what had happened. Maybe he should quit. What good would he be to his ward if he couldn't control himself? Nyk shoved that thought out of his head. He wasn't a coward, and he wouldn't quit. He had been through too much for that, and he would keep training until they made him a Gaidin or they made him leave. He couldn't quit now!

When the sky was dark enough that he couldn't follow the tracks, Nyk stopped for the night. He took off his jacket and leaned up against a tree, then wrapped his jacket around his knees, curled up to his chest. It wasn't comfortable, but Nyk was weary enough that he slept.

Day broke and Nyk resumed his journey. He reached a point where it looked like the Warders had rested. The trampled grass was a much wider space than the rest of their path. He scouted the area to see if any food had been dropped or left behind. No such luck. He did find some more nuts from the trees, though, and he ate them cautiously. After resting for a few minutes, he found the trail again and continued down it. His head wasn't aching quite so bad any more, but he still felt miserable. He had never felt this weak in his life. Hopefully he would make it back on time. Being late was something he didn't even want to consider. Maybe they would grant him mercy, but he doubted it.

He had to make it back on time! That thought was the driving force that kept him going. The day crept on, and the sun set again. He slept against another tree that night and kept tracking in the daylight. Although he stopped frequently, he was making progress. Occasionally, he would hear wolves howling in the distance. The sound made him more alert and he would start moving again.

At daybreak of the final day of the test, Nyk wasn't sure how far he still was from the Tower. He hadn't eaten more than a handful of nuts in the past few days, and he was in desperate need of water. His arms hurt more by the hour, and his hands could barely grip anything. He needed to get home.

The day wore on and Nyk was getting desperate. He had to make it on time! When the sun was starting to sink in the sky, he finally got to a point he recognized. Janis had brought him to this area to teach him how to track. It wasn't far from the Tower, but he was running out of time. He stumbled along the route, not letting himself stop for any more breaks. He was too close to the goal to fail or quit. The sun was starting to set when Nyk staggered up the last hill and saw the walls of the Grey Tower not more than a hundred paces away. He had made it! His legs protested as he picked up his pace, but he forced them to move.

When he was within a few paces of the front gates, the guards opened them for him, and he walked unsteadily inside. All the Trainees and Warders were assembled in two lines with a red carpet in between. Nyk had been part of this ceremony many times in the past, but he was always one of the ones standing, wondering just what the Trainee coming down the carpet had experienced. Now he knew. The trip down the carpet seemed to take forever, but finally he had reached the end where the Warder Officers were waiting. He fell to his knees and was knighted to his new rank.

After the ceremony was over, two Warders picked him up by the arms when it was apparent he couldn't get up himself. He yelped in pain at the contact, and the Warders supported him as they walked toward the infirmary. He was greeted by a Yellow Sedai who peeled off his jacket and the bandages he had made. She frowned as she looked at the wounds, then glanced up at him questioningly. Nyk nodded, and she delved him with the One Power. A wave of cold passed through his body, and then it quit. He looked at his arms, now intact once more, although he could see a faint outline of where the cuts had been. Finally home and healed, Nyk collapsed. When he woke up, he was lying on a bed in the infirmary with a tray of steaming food next to him. After eating, he felt infinitely better. He was shown to his new quarters, where his new uniforms were laid out on his bed. A Drin' no more!