Darian Gedwyn
Sitter for the Blue Ajah

Part Seven: Running the Gauntlet

“In the higher walks of life all paths are paved with daggers”

~ Ancient Seanchan proverb

I recall a day I was sitting on the city rampart, just gazing down upon the landscape. The passing guards ignored me, despite the fact I had absolutely no right at all to be here. Perhaps they could judge from the look on my face something was bothering me or perhaps they were among the numerous people that had learnt to associate my name with danger and great influence these past seven years. Or they could have considered me an eccentric rich citizen and wished me the joy of whatever was on my mind. Anyhow, I was left alone and it suited me just fine. I haven’t got the slightest clue of how long I had been sitting there when Aurore found me.

“Darian, there you are! I searched almost the entire city. I couldn’t find you anywhere!” She said on a tone that showed her surprise.
“Perhaps I didn’t want to be found.” I must have replied.
I could hear Aurore run up the steps to the overturn. I imagined her satin dress rustle around her beautiful figure and her soft slippers barely touching the cold stone steps. I heard the tissue rustle as she kneeled down by my side, completely ignoring the other people on the rampant and most likely unaware of the dirt that would ruin her dress.
“Darian… What’s bothering you? Please… I want to know,” she implored. In any other situation I would not have been able to bear the unhappy tone of her voice, but that time I turned a deaf ear to her appeal.
“Darian…” she insisted and this time her soft voice was too much to resist.
“It’s last night’s job that has set me thinking.”
Her hands slid over my shoulders, softly caressing them. She sounded surprised by my words.

“What do you mean, set you thinking? Something happened? Something like…?” Her fingers found the wound I had sustained two years ago. Her soft touch could follow the exact line of the scar without even looking at it.
“No, nothing like that at all,” I said, realizing my tone was colder than she had deserved.
Yet still… I can’t stand it if anyone doubts my skill. It’s the central pillar of the life I built up. Then again… this is Aurore, she knows me best. She couldn’t have meant to grieve me.

I tried making it up with a faint smile, still not feeling relaxed. She smiled hearty and kissed my lips with the fake smile on them.
“That’s more like it,” she said. “Please come back home, I’ve ordered to prepare a bath for you. It’ll help you relax. Lenore has cancelled all your appointments for today so you can rest. You can spend the entire day in the meditation room or in the inner court. I’ll look after you, see you’re taken care off.”
Delighted about how well this woman was attuned to me, I agreed.
“All right then.” I said. “You can be very convincing, you know that?”

She smiled playfully and stroke with her fingers through my hair. “I’ll carry this,” she proposed, reaching out for my sword. Instinctive my hand flashed forward, on its way to stop anyone that lays hand upon my sword. I couldn’t hold back but a few inches from Aurore’s delicate wrist. She looked at me in a questioning way. Not without effort I withdrew my hand. I lifted the hand up to her chin and kissed my wife.
“I’m glad you’re so good at looking after me,” I said with a smile and walked down the steps, realizing very well this was the first time in my entire life I turned my back to someone holding a sword.

It must have been a few hours later, by the end of the afternoon. I had spent a few hours in my meditation room in order to soothe my mind. I had the room refurnished for that purpose years ago when I bought the house. From time to time I would seek the rest and tranquility of that room. Its decoration is actually very sober, a few cushions to sit on and a niche with a still life of my favorite flowers are the only things that alternate the emptiness of the room. One side of the room consists of moving panels that – if opened – overlook a restful inner court with its carefully designed and planted garden. The noises of the street don’t penetrate the inner regions of my house and the peaceful flow of the fountain is the only audible sound.
A few hours in this room would suffice to bring me back from the verge of death, so great are its healing abilities.

A few hours later I spent the afternoon together with my wife in a luxurious living room, overlooking another inner court of my extensive residence. The moving panels were opened and we had a great view on the lawn and trees in the garden. I had imported some sakura trees from Shienar and their plentiful pink blossoms cheered up the garden. Sunlight poured in through the open wall and a soft breeze made the branches rustle without finding its way into the living room. Aurore was being lazy on a bench; she was reading a book from my library.

From time to time she would reach for a dish of grapes – very rare in this time of the year, I had them imported from who-knows-where – and accurately guided the grape up to her mouth before eating it. It enjoyed watching the scenery.
As I looked around and saw the luxury I could afford, my feeling of guilt returned. It damped my blessed feelings and I suddenly felt a void within me. I stared at the garden, watching two pigeons alight in one of the trees in the garden. I wonder why they didn’t alight in the sakura trees. Perhaps birds don’t enjoy sakura blossoms as much as I do… That’s why they chose the apple tree. My eyes opened widely, I heard a saying echo through my head.

“The apple blossoms of spring, the stars of summer, autumn’s full moon and the snow of winter, that itself makes for good brandy… If bitter, it’s proof something’s wrong with you.”
It sure tastes bitter. Something must be completely wrong with me.

Something hit me on the front. Completely off the map I looked around, it had been a total surprise. I overlooked the room two times before I noticed the juicy grape that lie on the ground next to my chair. Looking at Aurore, I saw her stick her tongue out.
“It’s the first time,” she said “…I see you come out of the meditation room still bothered by your problems.” She looked around for something that could serve as a bookmark for her book, didn’t find anything and pulled the ribbon from her hair. She folded it two times and put it between the pages. She got up and walked towards me.
“Sometimes you require as much caring as a baby,” she complained.
“Now don’t you exaggerate,” I laughed.
“Exaggerating. Master Gedwyn is making a joke,” she said, teasing me by summoning the memory of the times when she still was a servant. It was our fixed joke.
She took a cushion and sat down by the head of the bench on which I lie.

“But perhaps my master Gedwyn wouldn’t mind telling his little Aurore what’s been bothering him all day,” she spoke softly, clearly worried. She picked up the grape, wiped an imaginary speck of dust away and made me eat it.
“Please…” she insisted.
“It’s last night’s contract,” I let out. “It was a matter of inheritance and the target was only a boy.”
“You’re way too kind,” she said, supporting me completely and ignoring the fact that I was actually a cold-hearted assassin.
“Still, I killed a fifteen year old… The sight of the scenery probably hurt me more then I hurt the boy. Because…”

Aurore didn’t say anything, leaving me the time I needed to relieve my feelings.
“… I know how it feels to lose someone close to you. I could perfectly imagine how his mother must feel. Because… I know how it feels to lose someone dear. I lost my mother when I was thirteen years old. It was a horrifying accident.” Aurore was clearly surprised to hear me say something like that. I hardly ever talked about my youth so she didn’t really know what to say.
“Also…” I came up, sitting down on the bench instead of lying so Aurore could come and sit next to me. She immediately nestled close against me. We stared at the garden and I saw her look at the pigeons in the blossoming apple tree. I smiled.
“The apple blossoms of spring, the stars of summer, autumn’s full moon and the snow of winter, that itself makes for good brandy… If bitter, it’s proof something’s wrong with you.” I quoted.
“It feels strange to see you in a philosophical mood today, dear,” she commented.
“It tastes bitter today,” I said. She hugged me without saying a word.

So we sat there for quite some time, till Lenore came in. She twitched her face at the sight of her sister. Lenore had problems accepting the fact Aurore and I got married. I didn’t know whether she was jealous, just disapproved of the idea or if it had to do with personal resentment against me… Both of the girls had changed during the last two years, but while Aurore had matured and become a rare beauty, her sister Lenore had adopted the looks of a rigid schoolteacher. At moments like these I was glad I had married the younger one of the two sisters and it struck me every time again how much they were each others opposite.

“May I remind my master he had a delicate appointment this evening at the royal palace where he was invited by the queen to attend her banquet? May I also add that this invitation is too delicate too decline…” I noticed she had started speaking like an argumentative schoolteacher as well.
“Thank you Lenore,” I said. “I hadn’t forgotten about it, but thanks nevertheless for reminding me. I remember tomorrow is your day off. Please make my regards to your father.” I always tried to remain friendly towards Lenore. She snorted haughty.
“Yes, master Gedwyn,” she said, giving the word ‘master’ a slight condescending sound.
“… and perhaps my darling sister wouldn’t mind knocking first before she comes into a room. After all, she might be interrupting private scenes.” Aurore ragged her older sister. Lenore snorted even louder and turned around brusquely, slamming the door rather then closing it.

“I’m not certain whether or not I should attend the banquet…” Ignoring Aurore’s protests I continued:
“I’m not in the right mood.” Aurore teased me with a comforting tone in her voice:
“You should do that, dear. If you don’t feel up to it you shouldn’t go. Let me go in your place, that way I’ll finally get the chance to meet all these interesting young aristocrats you always talk about…”
“I don’t talk a…” Then I noticed how much effort it took her to keep a blank face.
“That’s blackmail,” I protested.
“Off course it is, silly,” she grinned. “Now either you come with me and help me pick your outfit for tonight or you risk losing me to one of those handsome young men.”
“I would rather duel with the entire court than allowing that to happen,” I warned her. She pulled me up from the bench.
“I know, I love you too,” she said.

Long tables were arranged in one of the great halls of the palace. They were covered with the finest table covers made from snowy lace. The cutlery was expensive silverware and the ornaments in the hall were excessive. All together it was one of the best examples of bad taste I had ever seen. The wine flew liberally and an endless series of courses was served. I kept within bonds, as I despised the fat paunches of the gluttons around me. The main subject at the table was the increased number of border-conflicts with the Aiel tribes. Most of the nobles didn’t seem to care, but I had heard from soldiers on this might grow into a big problem if measures weren’t taken.
“If a war should arise,” a corpulent duke declared with a rumbling tone, “we hire good old Darian to dispose of them. Can’t you charge us a group discount, Darian?” The entire table burst out laughing, except for me. I kept my cool and answered him on a cold tone:
“I wouldn’t see a problem in doing my share. And I could always hire some back up to take care of the rest. After all, your combined generous gifts have made me prosperous enough to buy assistance from the entire Cairhienin army.” The laughing at the table broke down and nervous looks were tossed at me. Ignoring the simpletons around me completely, I took a distinguished sip of my wine – which tasted, between brackets, flatly awful.
Soon the subject changed and I smiled discretely. I knew perfectly well my fortune had become the subject of many speculations and soon it might grow into an actual urban legend.

After the banquet a dance was given – another obvious token of bad taste, after all, who gives a dance after an excessive banquet? Even though Aurore had convinced me to attend this banquet I still didn’t feel in the mood and thus, as soon as I saw my chance, I slipped away and found refuge from the excitement on a terrace overlooking the gardens. Sipping from my glass of wine I stared at the sparkling stars. Suddenly I heard a noise behind me. I turned around and saw the queen standing on the terrace. I made a courteous bow for her.
“Your Majesty,” I greeted her. Despite my aversion of the dull kind of woman I held intelligence and keen wits in high regard. That explains the sympathy I felt for the queen of my host country.
“Lord Darian,’ she greeted me, paying me respect by a slight nod of the head. I smiled boyish.
“Your Majesty must be mistaken, for I am not a nobleman. I am but a civilian,” I said, playing the humble servant knowing very well the queen wouldn’t fall for such false modesty.
“Aren’t you? Oh yes, off course. Too bad perhaps, nobility could use men like you, Darian.” Striking were the transparent mistake in determining his status and the stress on the word Darian – without the ‘lord’-title this time. I smiled, admiring her skill in the Great Game of Houses. I couldn’t help but think: And unfortunately I need nobility as well.

“Perhaps your Majesty now wishes to correct the error she’s made. She’s offering a mere commoner too much honor by engaging a conversation with him…”
“You’re right. We entrust you don’t feel offended?”
I bowed again, knowing she would slip me a message or an assignment very soon.
“I wouldn’t dare take offense after having had the opportunity for a private conversation with your Majesty.”
She smiled, covering her smile behind the fan she had with her. These fans were the latest freak of fashion at the court and the ladies had quickly developed some sort of secret language using specific motions of their fans. I had learnt to read them to certain extent. Freaks like these were too temporary to be worthy of my close attention but it was always useful to be abreast of the latest curiosities. The queen waved her fan up and down slowly, holding it in the left hand and brushing the air more in my direction then hers. Roughly speaking it was a way to express respect, but it didn’t catch the more subtle meanings of it. They were unimportant. The queen folded her fan and left the terrace. As a means to say goodbye she handed me the fan.
“As a memento, and to compensate the discomfort I caused.”
“Not at all, your Majesty,” I said, not bowing this time, as three bows on such a short period of time would make me seem submissive. The queen gave me a final nod – showing appreciation of my worthy attitude – and walked though the curtains. She was followed by a small horde of ladies in waiting and pages. Looking at the fan, I noticed a sheet of fine paper woven in between the spokes. I sighed.

Why did they always have to make things this complicated? I took the letter and set the paper fan on fire at one of the torches that lit up the terrace. I sighed and decided to accept the inevitable: I had to show my face at the dance. Brushing aside the curtains I entered the hall. The orchestra was playing a waltz and many couples were already whirling around the dance floor. I went for a drink at one of the tables on the other side of the room. On my way there I had to stop from time to time in order to greet an acquaintance or allow a proud aunt to present her ‘wonderful young nice’. True to the tradition they turned out to be shy half-grown young girls. Every time again it was the same story. I sighed and muttered to myself how glad I was to have Aurore.

At the sideboard I ran into a duchess who was introducing a relative – perhaps her daughter – to the life at the court. Knowing I couldn’t keep avoiding contact all evening I gave them opportunity to start a conversation. The duchess took her relative by the arm and walked towards me. I had just taken a crystal wine glass from a silver platter and saw them coming. I produced a friendly smiled.
“Duchess d’Chambray. A delight to see you.” It was good custom to ignore the shy relative till she was introduced.
“Sir Darian,” she overestimated my social status, as did most people. They always assumed I was a nobleman because I got invitations for the parties. I bowed and kissed her hand.
“Allow me to introduce you to my niece Rosalind. She’s the daughter of my youngest sister who holds the title of countess of Aville.”
“A pleasure to meet such a fine lady,” I said while greeting her niece with a less deep bow.
“My husband ran into some business relations and they started talking about all sorts of complicated matters, wasn’t it dear?” The young lady of Aville nodded meekly. I knew she was acting; she was cunning enough to understand everything that could yield her profit. It could only mean her presence would hamper the discussions. No doubt she would demand a detailed report from her husband afterwards.
“I had the occasion to talk to him at dinner,” I smiled, recalling her husband had suggested to hire me to massacre the Aiel tribes. “He seemed quite in his element, I assume business is prospering…”
“Oh sir Darian, how would you ever expect a simpleton like me to know about things like that? We didn’t understand a thing from what they were saying, right dear?” The girl nodded meekly, I suppressed the urge to retch.

“Count Darian,” I heard another mistake in my social status. Surprised to hear that specific voice, I turned around.
“Lady Isabelle. Always a delight…”
The speaker was the representative of the First of Mayene and a direct relative of the First. Lady Isabelle served as the spokesman of Mayene’s trade interests in Cairhien; she was an attractive, blonde haired woman who was as much the counterpart of duchess d’Chambray’s dull niece as Aurore was Lenore’s counterpart. The lady was a keen-witted woman with more worldly wisdom then this girl could ever hope to obtain. Isabelle made use of my services from time to time. In reality, she was completely different from the spoiled young lady she pretended to be.
Followed by a group of young aristocrats, flatterers and admirers, lady Isabelle joined Darian and the other women.
“I would believe no less,” she said with the gentle smile that could make Aurore flare up just like that.
There existed some kind of rivalry between Aurore and Isabelle, because Isabelle had tried to seduce me in former days. At certain moments I still suspected her to have a weakness for me.

This evening she was dressed in a close-fitting ball dress made from azure silk, and her natural grace made the dress whirl around her figure. It was a dress without shoulder straps and the embroidery added even more to the tempting touch. As always, she looked beautiful, but I had concluded that was a distinguishing mark for all women from Mayene. They seemed to have developed seducing into an actual art form. She suffered me to offer her a hand kiss and from the huffy looks on the faces of some young aristocrats I deduced she hadn’t offered some of them the small favor. “If you could excuse us, duchess d’Chambray…” She took my arm and walked away from the rest of group, dragging me along to the dance floor. From the looks on the duchess’ face I noticed it had been her intention for me to dance with her niece. I breathed more freely.
“It seems I have saved you from some inconvenience, my dear Darian,” Isabelle whispered. “As a service in return, I demand you offer me this dance.”
Before I could protest she took my hands and lead us into the rotating circle of dancing couples. Isabelle scoffed at the old women and shy young girls sitting on the sideline. Some watched us with a jealous expression on their faces. I was quite the exotic person and I was known for my feeling of taste so many people – mostly women – sought my company as a token of their outstanding social contacts. Off course, an equal amount of men watched us envious, since Isabelle was at least as esteemed among the male half of the guests.

The orchestra was in great form at this point of the evening and played a long waltz. During the dance, the First’s representative took me closer, giving me the occasion to feel the luxuriant curves of her body. I didn’t like where that was going and told her so.
“Don’t worry, my dear Darian.” She said, always teasing me with pet names. “I wouldn’t dare to do anything that would upset poor little Aurore.” I wondered what ‘poor little Aurore’ would have done if she heard Isabelle call her names like that. In any case it would be a troublesome situation if these two were ever confronted with each other.
Anyhow, she widened the space between us and kept silent for the rest of the dance. I guess she felt incensed nevertheless. After all, she was far from unattractive and various men had laid themselves out to catch her attention. Too bad for her things were the way they were.

After the dance I treated her for a glass of wine. On the sideboard waiters were serving different kinds of wine; some of good quality, other were moderate. I selected a wine she would like and offered it to her. She accepted it with not the least sign of appreciation and I sighed.
“Please don’t hate me,” I said. “Really, I enjoy your company, especially on times like this and I appreciate you as a person. Believe me, you’re one of the very few people in this room I would take outside if I knew an earthquake was about to demolish the palace.” I tried a smile and was glad to receive one in return and then she finally took a sip from her wine. It must have pleased her, as she stroke my cheek playfully and said on a teasing tone:
“You’re such a dear.” I sighed. This woman would always be an enigma to me…

After that we got separated but by the end of the evening she came to me again and took me to the same terrace where I had met the queen earlier that night. Keeping her ignorant of this, I awaited whatever she had to say. This conversation turned out to be professional; she offered me a contract for the elimination of crime lord who extorted money from traders that fell under her responsibility. I assured her I would take care of it first thing tomorrow and she left the terrace without any further comment. From my position I could see her leave the palace in a sedan carried by four young men. I sighed, recalling that one time she had ever lost her self-control in my presence. It had – obviously – been a discussion about Aurore.
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t hire you to take care of little Aurore…” Blazing with indignation I had answered on an icy cold tone and with my hand on my sword:
“Because then you would surely find out my talents are for hire, while my loyalty isn’t.” After that I had shown her the door.

A short while later I returned home as well, with three new contracts in my pocket. I felt troubled, knowing Aurore would be furious after she heard about Isabelle’s behavior tonight. Feeling sad because I would have to hide things from the person dearest to me, I realized this life had a lot more negative angles then I had ever imagined.

Works by Darian
~ Darian's Raising
~ Where did the Darian Go?
~ Darian Asha'man

Contact Darian
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